I've spent a lot of time thinking about all of you. About how much you've lost, what you've been through, and how unfair it is that any of you have to experience something like this so young.
 

You were supposed to have more time together. More late nights, more conversations, more memories, and all the ordinary things you never think twice about because you assume there will always be another opportunity.
 

I know how much Wolf loved his friends, and getting to know so many of you over the last few months has meant more to me than I can explain. Every time I meet one of you, it only takes a few minutes to understand why Wolf wanted you in his life. I love hearing your stories, learning about your friendships, and getting to know the side of him that belonged to you. But I also know that behind those stories and memories, many of you are struggling with something that's incredibly difficult to understand, much less process.
 

Losing someone you love is hard enough. Losing them suddenly, violently, and because of another person's reckless decisions is an entirely different kind of grief.
 

I've been reading a lot about what happens to people after losing someone to homicide, and one thing that stood out to me is how much more there is to process beyond the person's absence. There's the shock of what happened, the circumstances surrounding their death, the anger and injustice of knowing it was preventable, and the realization that something like this can happen to someone you love without any warning.
 

It changes the way you see the world. Things that once felt safe or predictable might not anymore.
 

Some of you witnessed the accident or its aftermath. Some of you learned what happened through a phone call or message. Others may have spent hours imagining what happened, trying to piece together details or make sense of something that doesn't make sense.
 

You may find yourself replaying conversations, thinking about the last time you saw him, or wondering whether something could have happened differently. You might have trouble sleeping, concentrating at school, or enjoying things you used to look forward to. You may feel angry one day, completely numb the next, or find yourself overwhelmed by something that wouldn't have bothered you before.
 

These are all things that can happen when someone experiences a traumatic loss and I want you to know that your grief is just as deserving of attention and support as anyone else's. There's no way to prepare yourself for a loss like this. It can leave you with questions that don't have satisfying answers, anger that has nowhere to go, and a sense of injustice that makes it difficult to find any peace.
 

While i can't tell you how to grieve, I just want you to recognize that what you're going through is significant, even if you don't fully understand it yourself yet.

 

Please don't feel like you need to handle it on your own. Talk to your parents, your friends, a counselor, or another adult you trust. If you're having a hard time, say something. Trauma doesn't always go away with time, and sometimes you need more than time to work through it.
 

I also want you to remember that you are allowed to be happy. You're allowed to laugh, have fun, make new friends, and look forward to your futures. None of that takes anything away from your friendship with Wolf. You don't have to stop living your lives to prove how much you miss him.

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And I hope that as the years go by, you'll continue to talk about him. Tell the stories, share the pictures, bring up the inside jokes, and remember the things that made him Wolf.
 

Please don't ever worry that mentioning him around me will make me sad. I think about him every minute of every day. Hearing his name and learning about the memories you made together is something I genuinely look forward to.
 

I also want you to know that my door is always open to you. Whether you want to share a memory, ask a question, talk about what happened, or just stop by, you are always welcome. You were an important part of Sterling's life, and because of that, you'll always be important to me.
 

Please take care of yourselves and look out for each other. Check in on your friends, even the ones who seem okay. Don't feel like you have to hide what you're going through, and don't be afraid to speak up when things get hard. You all lost someone important, and I hope you'll continue to be there for each other the way I know Sterling would have wanted you to.
 

Thank you for being Wolf's friends and for loving him. I'm so grateful he had all of you.

With love,

Kristin/ Sterling's Mom

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A Resource for Wolf's Friends and Families
 

If you've been struggling to understand your feelings or the impact of Wolf's death, I encourage you and your parents to read Survivors of Homicide Victims, a resource from Parents of Murdered Children.
 

It explains why grief following a violent, preventable death can be especially complicated, including the emotional and psychological effects that aren't always immediately apparent.

Read Survivors of Homicide Victims